Friday, August 6, 2010

We've Moved! Err...I've moved.

Please follow me at my new blog home!!

http://allybangbang.wordpress.com/

I look forward to sharing more great conversation with all of you!

~Ally

Monday, July 26, 2010

We're Moving!!

Well, Kids.  The blog is moving.  It's time to revamp and make it better.  Stay tuned for details and new posts at a new home soon!!

Ally

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Did they really say that?

Have you ever read a newspaper headline and thought "wow, no one thought about the inappropriateness of that before it went to print"?  I have many times.  Fortunately, I have a sick sense of humor and I find that such instances actually benefit me because I laugh endlessly at them.  Don't get me wrong, I can see the serious side of situations but...sometimes things are so sad, you have to laugh or you won't get through them.

Anyway, here are some of my favs:

Really?!  I dare anyone not to laugh a this.  Poor Wang.

I don't even want to know how "Stolen groceries" and "Homicide" got mixed up.

Nice, Channel 3.  Do you have the number for Pizza Hut?  I'd like to send them my resume.

I don't have much to say about this.  Honestly, I'm impressed on SO many levels!  He exploded and was released from the hospital moments later?  I'm guessing right into police custody.  And the photo really IS stunning.

Aaahhhh.  I just love things like this.  I wonder how they measure "improvement"?

I can't tell you how hard I laughed at this.  Seriously?  NO ONE thought twice about this one?  Really!?

This last one is perhaps my FAVORITE of all time.  This happened a few years back and I still consider it to be the best inappropriate headline of all time.  You HAVE to see the hilarity in something like this.

Do you have a fav that you'd like to share?  

~A

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Why is it so fun to scare people?

Why is it so fun to scare the piss out of people?  I used to scare my little cousins all the time.  We'd watch scary movies and I'd literally sit up a night or 2 before thinking of awesome ways to scare the living daylights out of them.  SO much fun! 

I can't even comment on these videos because I'm crying from laughing so hard.



When the little girls screams and runs...  OMG.  Seriously, CRYING!  HAHAHA:



I guess it's wrong to be laughing as hard at this one as I am, considering the kid was crying:



I'm still laughing.  I probably will be all day tomorrow too.

What scares you?

~A

Thursday, June 10, 2010

She's a Lady...it's science

I'm so sick of hearing about Lady Gaga being a hermaphrodite.  Anyone with 2 eyes and a 5th grade education can see that she CLEARLY has the skeletal structure of a female (No offense, Zibbsy).  This is my attempt at proving my point.  Two points actually, the second one I have firmly believed for a LONG time...but I'll get to that in a bit.

Here is the skeletal system of a man:


This is the skeletal system of a woman:

In case you didn't take Bio, allow me to fill you in on the differences between the two, as you will need to know them later in this blog.
MALE:  Narrow, robust, heavy, rough
Pelvic inlet is heart shaped

FEMALE:  Broad, light, smooth
Pelvic inlet oval to round shape
 
See?  The female pelvis is on the left, clearly.  You can most easily tell by the pelvic inlet.  See how much wider it is?  That's where the peni and babies enter and exit, hopefully in that order. 
 

Now that we have that out of the way, check out these pictures of the fabulous Gaga


She has the natural curves and hips of a female.  Notice that her panties are held UP by her hips.  Even though she is petite, she still has an hourglass figure, whereas men are usually more broad across the shoulder and narrow in the hips.  Her body structure alone is enough to convince me but I'll go furthur here in case you aren't convinced yet.


Even if I COULD see a small bulge here, you tell me....WHERE ARE THE BALLS?  So, I'm supposed to believe that she has a frank and no beans?  Yeah, ok.

If she has a frank (with no beans, apparently) how does she have cameltoe?


This brings me to the second point that I mentioned in the beginning of this. In proving that Gaga is a woman, I have also proven my long standing theory that Pink is, indeed, a man.  (It should be said that this photo is flattering to her chest because she really doesn't have anything happening there in real life.)  Notice the V shaped muscles leading directly to her narrow hips.  Any woman who has looked at an underwear model has followed that trail and they know EXACTLY what I'm getting at here.


What's that?  You need a comparison?  Allow me...


I rest my case.  There is no mistaking what's happening here.  Lady Gaga is a woman and there's a dick in Pink's skirt.

Tune in for next weeks blog topic - Do bugs have butts?

~A

Friday, May 28, 2010

Happy Memorial Day!

I was sitting here thinking about the upcoming Memorial Day weekend and how proud I am to be an American. I personally support several soldiers overseas who are fighting for our freedom and don't take it for granted for a single second.  I wish there was more I could do but as one person, I do what I can.  Anyway, then I started thinking about protesters.  I'm glad there are people out there in the world that care so passionately about the current events and legislature that shape our communities.  It's not that I don't care... it's just that I believe it should be done in an intelligent manner, and really, I don't know enough about most things to protest for them. Unless we're talking Twilight.  Then I say TEAM EDWARD!  No, but really.  Here are some examples.

Maybe you wanna consider how it's spelled before you INSIST that you have such strong feelings about Euthanasia.  Just a thought.  Not that a youth in Asia COULDN'T kill my grandmother...but, I'm just saying it's more likely cancer will, expecially since we're in America, not Asia.  PS - My Grandparents are already dead.  Thanks for bringing it up.


I can't even articulate what I think about this sign.  Well done, Mayor.  Well done.  Competition for the mayoral campaign must have been stiff.


Someone should tell this woman that English IS our official language and that there are courses at the local grade school that she can take. 


Yeah, Morans.  What he said.


God isn't supposed to hate anyone, from what I hear?  Isn't HE the one who is supposed to judge, not you?? Also, lady, maybe try to look like less of a vampire when you are persecuting others.  For the record, I bet the "Fags" think god hates you for that outfit.  Further, involving children in this kind of hate is inexcusable.  No one takes you seriously except for the other nut job extremists with your beliefs.  Also, there is a special place in heaven for the guy who photobombed this.  Awesome!


Finally, this sign is vulgar.  Have some couth for heavens sake.  She is probably a feminist too.  Man, I can't stand feminists.


Ok, I'm done.  In summary, boo for vag flashers, yay for fag loving photobombers and beware of the youth in Asia, you Morans.  Oh and Happy Memorial Day!  Go USA.

I really hope all of my grammar is correct in this post.  If it's not, don't tell me.

~A

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Retirement Plan

I often think about how I will spend my days once I can finally retire. My friend, Carolyn, and I have a plan to wear muu-muu's all the time and ride around together on our Jazzy's. I even looked into it and i know that medicare covers the cost. Hopefully they will still be covering the cost in 2045-ish! Anyway I have an addition to that plan which I think Carolyn is really going to love!

I think it would be awesome to get a Jazzy


Once this is aquired I think it would be super fun to go around the state, hell even the country, and jump on at the end of biker processions.  Just riding and waving behind all of the bearded, leathered bikers.


Sort of like photo bombing but not.  "Procession Crashers" maybe?  In our Muu-Muu's with our puffy white hair.  Maybe we could throw hard candy into the crowd?  I don't know...it's still in the development stages.

~A