Friday, May 28, 2010

Happy Memorial Day!

I was sitting here thinking about the upcoming Memorial Day weekend and how proud I am to be an American. I personally support several soldiers overseas who are fighting for our freedom and don't take it for granted for a single second.  I wish there was more I could do but as one person, I do what I can.  Anyway, then I started thinking about protesters.  I'm glad there are people out there in the world that care so passionately about the current events and legislature that shape our communities.  It's not that I don't care... it's just that I believe it should be done in an intelligent manner, and really, I don't know enough about most things to protest for them. Unless we're talking Twilight.  Then I say TEAM EDWARD!  No, but really.  Here are some examples.

Maybe you wanna consider how it's spelled before you INSIST that you have such strong feelings about Euthanasia.  Just a thought.  Not that a youth in Asia COULDN'T kill my grandmother...but, I'm just saying it's more likely cancer will, expecially since we're in America, not Asia.  PS - My Grandparents are already dead.  Thanks for bringing it up.


I can't even articulate what I think about this sign.  Well done, Mayor.  Well done.  Competition for the mayoral campaign must have been stiff.


Someone should tell this woman that English IS our official language and that there are courses at the local grade school that she can take. 


Yeah, Morans.  What he said.


God isn't supposed to hate anyone, from what I hear?  Isn't HE the one who is supposed to judge, not you?? Also, lady, maybe try to look like less of a vampire when you are persecuting others.  For the record, I bet the "Fags" think god hates you for that outfit.  Further, involving children in this kind of hate is inexcusable.  No one takes you seriously except for the other nut job extremists with your beliefs.  Also, there is a special place in heaven for the guy who photobombed this.  Awesome!


Finally, this sign is vulgar.  Have some couth for heavens sake.  She is probably a feminist too.  Man, I can't stand feminists.


Ok, I'm done.  In summary, boo for vag flashers, yay for fag loving photobombers and beware of the youth in Asia, you Morans.  Oh and Happy Memorial Day!  Go USA.

I really hope all of my grammar is correct in this post.  If it's not, don't tell me.

~A

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Retirement Plan

I often think about how I will spend my days once I can finally retire. My friend, Carolyn, and I have a plan to wear muu-muu's all the time and ride around together on our Jazzy's. I even looked into it and i know that medicare covers the cost. Hopefully they will still be covering the cost in 2045-ish! Anyway I have an addition to that plan which I think Carolyn is really going to love!

I think it would be awesome to get a Jazzy


Once this is aquired I think it would be super fun to go around the state, hell even the country, and jump on at the end of biker processions.  Just riding and waving behind all of the bearded, leathered bikers.


Sort of like photo bombing but not.  "Procession Crashers" maybe?  In our Muu-Muu's with our puffy white hair.  Maybe we could throw hard candy into the crowd?  I don't know...it's still in the development stages.

~A

Friday, May 14, 2010

I know it's hard to believe...

But I can be super awkward.

Allow me to share a short story with you about an experience I had with an old manager.

Manager was a really nice guy and very easygoing. I had put together a presentation for him and was going over it in his office. At one point I needed to lean over his desk to look at a report and my orange tic tac fell out of my mouth onto his desk. So many things went through my mind within a millisecond. My spit covered tic tac was on his desk, waiting for me to do something. Knowing the nearest trash can was behind his desk and getting to it would probably prolong this agony I simply picked it up and put it back in my mouth! Then I rubbed up the spit with my fingers and said "Sorry!! Pretend you didn't see that!" I was fumbling...I had literally NO CLUE what to do or say. He was cool about it thankfully and just laughed it off while I blushed and nearly died of embarassment. Why does my mouth always have to be hanging open anyway?! UGH! I think he sort of expected the craziness from me when I shrieked and carried on after a bug landed on my desk on his first day. Anyway, these things happen to everyone. Right??

~A