Wednesday, March 10, 2010

My apologies to anyone who is not Irish

But you really are missing out!

In honor of Saint Patrick's Day coming up I've decided to speak out against an Irish stereotype that bothers me. I hate it when people think I'm a drunk just because I am clearly Irish. Truthfully, I rarely drink. When I do, of course, I drink to the fullest. No point in getting on the train unless you are taking it into a wall, know what I mean?

Seriously though, race is a funny thing because most people think that if you're white, you have no reason to be offended. I have a pretty good sense of humor so it takes a lot to offend me, but, lately it seems like these "oh he/she must be Irish, look how drunk they are" jokes are getting a bit ridiculous. I think what REALLY offends me about it is that it's not even a clever or witty slur. Maybe I feel this way because I've recently been to Ireland and I can tell you that most bars aren't even open past 10-11pm there. Whatever the reason, what I'm asking for is respect. In the same way that I don't assume that all black people are lazy, all jews are cheap, and all Italians are mobsters, I expect that you don't belittle my culture in a serious way. Of course, jokes amongst friends are different. I'm not saying you have to take everything 100% seriously, sometimes you have to laugh, but I'm talking about the people who seriously believe these insane stereotypes. Closed minded, judgemental people.

Anyway, I decided to put together pics of OTHER nationalities who are clearly fans of being intoxicated to prove that it's not just the Irish. We just take the fall for everyone else. Then on March 17th everyone wants to hang out with us and pretend they're Irish too. Guess what? Everyone is NOT Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You don't see me trying to be French on Bastille Day, do you?

Exhibit A - She's Italian & Chilean AND she's a mess. Three birds. One stone.

Up next...The Hoff. He's of German descent, I think. Awesome? Yes. He's also a trainwreck.

Welp, this ought to do it for the English. I don't think I have to comment furthur here.

Not only does this Australian get drunk and have the occasional bad hair day, he gets angry. Good grief. (In all fairness, I'd be pissed too if I had that ponytail.)

I don't know what the hell Nick Nolte is. I just couldn't leave him out, he's a classic drunk.


There are no words.

Even Beyonce has done it

This guy right here though...he reformed...

I could go on and on with this, but, I think you get my point. In case you don't, I will re-iterate. Don't put your fucked-upness on me and my people. I'm just trying to enjoy my beer.

Additionally, if you REALLY want to know what it's like to be Irish - love and protect your family fiercely, be a loyal friend, be proud of your heritage and celebrate traditions. That's what we do. On Saint Patrick's Day and every day!


  1. Midgets. Good one.

    I'm mostly Irish with a bit of German. My wife is 100% Italian (really half Sicilian but I say, "Oh that's the same thing")

    And one time jokingly I said, "Oh, your people are closer to the apes, it goes Gorrilla, Black people, Puerto Ricans, Italians...then some of your , lower level European peoples....then you've got your English, Irish and Germans. We're up here at the top you see."

    Of course I was kidding but it was funny when I said it.

  2. hahaha joking with family/friends is one thing. And, totally not what I'm talking about here. I know you understand what I mean. It's the people that are serious that freak me out. And, sadly, they're more common than not...even in 2010. And I'm only Irish. I can only imagine how other minorities feel! lol

  3. Sooo...what happens when you get an Irish Moore, who just happens to be a midget?

    Just curious, ya bloody friggin drunk!! (I feel like I can say that because I'm prolly more Irish than you...haha)

  4. I know a good number of Irish who don't drink and are - punchline aside - are quite alive. And despite my Eastern European peasant origins, I'm so enamored of things and people Irish, I either was one myself in a past life or will be one in a future incarnation. Hand me a bodhran and give me door #2. And don't just single out Amy for being a Brit; she's Jewish to boot, so give our fallen angels some credit too.

  5. I love this post, from one Irishman who won't be drunk on Wednesday to one who probably will...

    And Zibbs, are you saying that my wife is 2 steps removed from Ape? That explains the stains on the carpet and why the house isn't clean. Thanks a lot for holding that info out on me.

  6. EH, I won't be drunk on Wednesday... Sunday was another story... LOL

  7. all I care about is that Irish girls are HOT HOT HOT!