Sunday, February 28, 2010

"Giving Up" for Lent

If you're Catholic or know a Catholic then you most likely know that it's Lent. The simplest explanation of Lent is that it is a season of fasting and penitence that occurs for 40 days before Easter. Usually during Lent, a person will give up something of meaning to them, aka - make a sacrifice. Not a human sacrifice, although, I can think of a list of people I'd like to sacrifice.

Now, of course I "get" the whole meaning and significance of the whole shebang but I got to thinking...if I give up candy or shopping or lip gloss...who does it help? No one. It only makes me miserable. Now, if I do good deeds for others instead...well, everyone wins. Then I saw someone on Twitter asking for justification for cheating on their Lenten promise so I thought I would impart my own "Lenten Rules" to you guys for guidance. Because if there is one person in the world that God would choose to guide you lovely folks, it's me, I'm sure of it.

1) Giving things up for Lent can be avoided if you do at least one good deed for others per day during Lent (and beyond if you want). It doesn't have to cost anything. Help an old person with groceries or, like, if someone falls help them up BEFORE you die laughing instead of after.

2) You can forego your sacrifice on Sundays. Even God took a break on Sundays to kick back with a snickers bar and a can of coke. While I don't have photographic proof of that, I'm sure it's true.

3) If you DO wanna cheat, you've gotta make it worthwhile for humanity. Let's say for example, you gave up aforementioned snickers bars. You can have a snickers bar on a random day IF you donate the same amount of money to charity. SO, if you eat 15 snickers bars during Lent you owe at LEAST $15 to your local food bank. See what I'm saying?

4) Cut the crap. If you gave something up and caved 2 days later just be honest about it. The only thing God hates more than the whole socks-with-sandals thing is a liar. Besides, everyone probably knows you are lying anyway.

I bet now you're wondering what my good deed for today was... well, I'll tell you. It's this blog. And this public service announcement about the prevention of popped collar douchebaggery:

I know, I're welcome. It was my pleasure.



  1. for lent...i gave up collar clips...i know, i know----it's so hard to stay away from them!! god help me, i'm going to hell...i just can't help myself....DAMN YOU, ALICE KELLY!! DAAAMMMNNN YOU TO HELL for making me miss my stunning collar clips so badly....

  2. Fantastic post! And so timely, as I totally cheated on my "no sweets" kick last night.

    And also:
    The only thing God hates more than the whole socks-with-sandals thing is a liar.